this post goes out to the extended fans out there, such as viva's hot friend who says she likes my blog, i like you too. a funny question here: are you too manly to go get a facial. let me introduce you to the way of thinking like me, in short, ask yourself, WWRD. in fact, im going for a facial on sunday with ee, and to be honest, as long as you dont come out flaunting how well your facial went, its some fun ass shit to do. but i cant help thinking why i would pay 75 bucks for someone to pinch my face. i could do the same, without the cash, but then i think to myself, why deny a cute girls to touch you semi inappropriately, carressing your face with care. if letting some girl touch me in ways i dont usually get touched is gay then let me be gay. i was half approached today by a cuteish girl at old town coffee today. there i was doing my thaang, and she gave me this devilish smile. i couldnt make up my mind, so she strut her stuff over to the menu and brought it to me. i could tell she was in to me by the way she covered her face and mouthed something to the bartenders and when i laughed they all laughed. its times like these i love to thank god for giving me what i have but then again id love to have plastic surgery done too.
people tell me all the time that plastic surgery is a sin. what i do is spit in their face, pretending it was accidental. plastic surgery is in my opinion, and therefore yours should be too, is a way of boosting your self confidence and glorious side effects is you look great. if it is a sin to want to look good and feel good then id love to rewrite the bible for that purpose (i mean this in no offense to god). in a way i feel like the godfather. be my friend and youll reap the benefits. free plastic surgery is always...well free. which brings me to my other point, spitting. if you spit whilst u talk then u should really shut the fuck up. THIS, rather, should be a sin. spitting is fucking gross especially if youve got some stank ass breath.
ive been asked for some special requests by some people to put some shit on this.
choong wants to know what i had to eat today so:
today i woke up and ate some beef with black sauce, eggs with potatoe sniblets, and rice. then i popped some NO EXPLODE before gym to get the muscles going. fuck i had a hard-ass-core workout at gym today. then i had to wash my car which made me feel like i just ran across africa and coming first place agianst those kenyan runners who seem like they train their skill-z by running cross country just to buy some milk and swim up waterfalls just because noone else in the history of races could do it. and they do it daily just because. i had dinner which was ribs, eggs, fried prawns and some rice to go with it. one day ill be the new jamie oliver and cook up a fucking storm.
its unfair that all the good sports are dominated by the one race you dont expect it to be dominated by. golf, tiger woods, the only black guy in the history of black people to play golf and hes insane. basketball, there are some insanely insane good white guys out there. swimming is raped by australians which is funny because australians are only good at throwing boomerangs and growing mustaches.
one day i would love to be the supreme ruler of earth. that way i can make things run the way i want it to run. people will have to run with their mouths open because i promote fresh air and i dont like mosquitos and flies. women will not be allowed to drive because, lets face it, you girlies suck. this maybe sexist, but i am a very sexy guy. itll be legal for blacks to beat up people because it would reduce the amount of law breaking world wide. on a side note im pro-black guys because their hip hop and i love hip hop. no diggity. girls will have to pay for most lunches and dinners because although im a gentleman, i hate being one because it costs me more money and effort to hold open doors. ettiquete is essential. life sentences for anyone who does not drink coffee without their pinkies extended.
i digress, drunk girls are grossing me out. being gentleman like involves not hitting girls; but i say, smack the bitch if she deserves it. imagine a real bitchy asshole comes up to you with her drunk breath and coughs in ure face. id smack the bitch right out of her and stick my leg up her asshole because girls like that deserve to be fucked but with something uncomfortable.
the other day i was watching some japanese porn and to be honest its more of a comedy. 4 guys, one girl and they prefer to use dildo's. i know i know, uve all heard the rumors, japanese have small dicks. this can not be more true. the truth is they have small growths down there, which would eventually develop into what we call a microscopic penii (plural penis, i love biology) i dont like the way they squeel either, sounds like i just ran over a chipmunk and its begging for death.
porn is best served white i say. this is because a) they dont have ridiculously ugly vijayjay's, and b) because i like em white. remember, WWRD. i think i should be handing out bracelets or something.
and to finally finish this ranting session, a lame joke just for nicole, :P
What did the ghost say to the wall?
Hey just passing through.
at the risk of sounding weak, im not going to say bye. ill be giving out WWRD bracelets to the first 5 people who sms 0122897231 saying: "russ, i want you to be the one i think about before making any nonthewiser decisions." assuming you are within driving range.
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